web exclusive
September 29th, 2006 | Posted by David
i have an exclusive photo of remo’s wedding.
i’m not sure whose side remo is taking in the gang war.
Archive for September, 2006
“EMOs, come out and play-ay”
September 29th, 2006 | Posted by David
it appears that no one is safe from the growing turf wars that have divided sheridan county. in much the same way we were forced to choose between east coast and west coast hip hop in the 90’s, now in 2006, we are having to choose between baggie pants and tight pants. local gang, the punks, have taken a militant stand for baggie pants, while rival gang, the EMO, have chosen to represent the tight pant faction. other gangs, such as the baseball furies and the lizzies, have been caught in the middle, and as of this report, it is still unknown what alliances have been made. i have also recieved unconfirmed reports that celebrity, johnny rotten, has become involved in the tit-for-tat violence between local gangs, the punks and the EMO. according to an unidetified expert from sheridan high school, johnny rotten is an australian, hippie rocker from the 60’s.
the EMO
September 29th, 2006 | Posted by David
with episodes of gang violence flaring up recently like a bad case of athlete’s foot, many of us are still left asking, “who is this entity simply known as ‘EMO’?” from the description given to us via an interview broadcast on sheridan media of an unidentified expert at sheridan high school, we know the following about so called members of the EMO:
1) they wear eye make up.
2) they do not have different colored mo-hawks.
3) they wear girl pants.
4) they originate from seattle.
from this brief description, i have been able to creat an artistic rendering of what an EMO member may in fact look like. as to what they’re political views are, we can only guess. i for one hope that EMO will turn out to be very similar to ELO. that song, ‘evil woman’, totally rocks my ass off.
“the magic city”
September 28th, 2006 | Posted by David
did you know that billings was “the magic city”? i didn’t. i just like that there’s no sales tax and a shit-ton of funny vanity plates up there. they have a nice skatepark too. i really like ledge gaps. there’s just something about doing grinds across chasms that makes me feel like i’m awesome.
the quaker oats’ guy from cocoon
September 27th, 2006 | Posted by David
happy birthday, wilford brimley.
more shitty reporting
September 26th, 2006 | Posted by David
no wonder everyone hates skateboarders. how did the kid with no sleeves and no skateboard become ‘the skateboarder’? ‘the EMO’, bryce, is a skateboarder. the other kid is just a douche-bag. they should refer to him as ‘the douche-bag’.
erupting skateboard gang violence
September 25th, 2006 | Posted by David
don’t the youth realize we’re trying to represent ‘the west at its best’?Â
post nazi
September 20th, 2006 | Posted by David
i’m on vacation. i’ll be back this weekend. keep it real, yo!
more awesome than thong panties
September 13th, 2006 | Posted by David
this is the sweetness that i be riding on the daily.
